futebol

A while ago now, Mark - who never gets sick - got very sick.

So sick that the nurse who took his temperature and didn't speak English said 'woooooooooooow that is high,' in perfect English when she saw the thermometer.

So sick that he had to sit in a hospital chair for over two hours rigged up to an IV machine that seeped antibiotics into his bloodstream. So sick that he slept through this.

Semi-conscious, Mark was wheeled into another room to consult with the attending doctor. I explained to this doctor that our Portuguese wasn't good because we'd just moved here. (This was true at the time. Nowadays our Portuguese isn't good because we're idiots.) The doctor addressed Mark in English.

'Senhor,' he said in his kindly voice, 'You should be fine now, you will just need a lot of rest and more medicine.'

'Uhhghguuhnnhnhhhhhg,' said Mark.

'And Senhor Mark,' the doctor continued, 'May I ask if you've yet chosen which football team you will support here in São Paulo?'

'Nrrrrrnnnggghgghnnnnngggnhh,' said Mark.

'May I make a suggestion? Please, the Corintians.' said the doctor.

'Hhhnnndnnngngnhrnrnrrrrngggggg,' said Mark.

And so we tell people we're about the Corintians.

(BTW, Corintians is pronounced 'corINCHinz.')

But that's really all.

Even though we live kind of sort of close to the Corintians' stadium, futebol only affects my life insofar as one of my dogs becomes distressed by the occasional thunder of fireworks.

Cill's just not that into you, futebol. So I can't go to a game. because I'd feel bad pegging a ticket from someone who actually gives a crap. See? I'm selfless.

Also i read Larry Rohter's book about Brazil and in it he says that dudes at futebol games sometimes pee over the tier rails onto the fans below. Now there are many things i like a lot, such as movies, theater, baseball, and popcorn, but i'm not getting peed on for none of those. To no interest am I loyal enough to get peed on. Ever. Even if it is organic Brazilian pee.

I'm sure I'll get swept up in it somehow when the World Cup madness begins. Several people have already bought tickets to come here for it.

Vai Corintians!